♥ When darkness turns to light it ends tonight.

Happy birthday Singapore! I guess this year my family is staying at home and watch the fireworks through this flat, cold TV screen. Last year we went down to the Marina Bay area, not a great idea, people mountain people sea. And right, around 5 or 6 more days to YOG! I’m so excited okay. Not really because i’m involved, but you know, it’s the first time we host such big deal event. Oh yeah Oh yeah HEY!

Long weekend. Saturday was YOG rehearsal, which meant my whole Saturday was gone. Like seriously, because i reached home at an inhumane time. And Sunday half the day gone, was in school for the LTC reunion. Oh the torch relay was indeed awesome. Ahh why didn’t i get voted as President?! And i’m so regret that i did’nt go for LTC. Although i had lots of fun in Japan for the GP trip, i still think going for LTC is the better option. Hmm it’s good to know more people and learn from them. After all those who went are leaders of their CCAs, so yeah. So far my long weekend isn’t productive at all. Today is already Monday! And i’ve a lecture test coming up on Friday. Kill me please.

*

Last night I came across a girl
We met I said for the first time
I finally felt alive
I could not move my bones
I’m falling into what I know
I wont ever let go.

Beautiful lyrics from Summer Love by WE THE KINGS. I really like their songs. And recently i’m hooked onto Daughtry’s Over you as well, and i keep listening.

Anyway, i’ve no idea why but a couple of my really close friends are falling out of love. Steady relationships as long as one year just crumpled. Some failed their confessions. I’m really sad for them. It’s just so coincident that everything happens in the same time. I begin to feel wary for it. Anyway my dear friends (you know who you are!), stay strong, stay happy and if need be, stay single! HAHA. Like what i always say, keep holding onto what you believe, don’t give up yet! But actually, giving up or not, i’m in no position to give advice. Feel for it for you know best. Giving up may not be a bad thing. Who knows, you might know another girl of better caliber. Why not reintroduce yourself to the wider, greener pastures? You might feel the breeze once again. That’s not being unfaithful, for you didn’t betray anybody at all.

We can choose devote our hearts and souls into it or simply take it as a pinch of salt, or treat it as part of growing up.  And sometimes when the feelings seem so real, we thought she’s the one. And this is when our minds can’t think properly. We begin to think about all sorts of things revolving around her. We forget to breathe. We just can’t think properly. We guys have no idea what the girls are thinking. We begin to feel worried. We become emotional. And that’s when we know we are actually humans. I’m human too. But i treat this as part of growing up. I’m trying hard not to let all these get into my path.

*

Point form blogging.

• Sorry FFFC brothers for not turning up for our 2nd/3rd block bluster outing of the year!
• Happy birthday Singapore, once again.
• I need to buy pens, refills, correction tapes!
• But before that, i need to renew my Popular membership card. HAHAHA!
• I wanna change phone! Iphone with Data-plan best!
• Needs to do EoM from scratch.
• Mug for Vectors, must must must do well!
• Somebody says i keep changing my Facebook profile peekcher! I think so too!
• I’M STALKED! But it’s really fun! We stalk each other!
• I’m glad that i’ve made a new sms friend. HAHAHA! How about texting GOOD NIGHT and GOOD MORNING everyday? Awesome!
• Yeah! Mum’s starting to give me money again! I’m rich!
• I think Econs is starting to make sense. History is getting more and more interesting! Geography is still, oh well. -.-
• I’m making morning announcement on week8! Nervous much!

Tonight channelU showing IpMan! Awesome much! I shall watch it for the N-th time! I’m off, have a productive holiday ahead! And, 2 more blog posts to 600!

PS: Mutual feeling, or not.

“She appears in my life all of a sudden, and she blows my mind.”

Wow, it’s been so long since i last blogged. Hmm lots of things happened. YOG rehearsals, CCA, school work, family, friends, myself. Ahh, overload my mind. Sometimes i really wish i’ve time to even take a breather and to reflect upon certain things. Life’s hectic. Life’s a routine. Life’s awesome, however!

I set some short term goals for myself today. And i’m pretty glad that i managed to achieve some of them, i think. Like not sleeping in lectures, doing work during free time and things like that. Kind of big deal for me not to sleep in lectures. I’ve no idea why, i sleep quite early in the night but i still feel drowsy in lectures or tutorials. Sleeping in lectures are bad enough, and i can’t believe that i dozed off during tests too! I actually slept for like 5 minutes during my econs lecture test. Argh. Well, another potential screwed-up test. Oh, i won’t be surprise if my CT wants to meet my parents this friday, regarding my atrocious and horrendous mid-year exams results. Ahh Perhaps the worst exam i’ve ever fared.

And, sometimes too much of council work makes me forget that i’m actually a student too. It’s like every night check gmail, then i’ll edit proposals, then submit proposals, then send sms to pass message, there goes my night. Oh not to mention that i use facebook and twitter and msn as well. So my nights are pretty much unproductive. So right now, dear chekwei, he pledges to use his breaks in school wisely and scribbles as much tutorial as he can.

Point form blogging. Going to sleep soon. I mean, to mug. Argh, i can’t be lazy!

• I don’t just aim to get promoted. I want to achieve something big.
• Screwed up hair.
• YOG rehearsal 3 this friday!
• Why is there history lecture test on saturday?!
• Mum’s imposing economic sanctions on me. She realises that i kept talking money from her drawer. She’s smart!
• Sneezing for the past two days. Argh!
• Wants to play handball badly.
• Craving for KOI chocolate milk tea now. 25% sugar, best ahh!

I’m off for work! By the way, i need to clear my messy table once again!

PS/ You suddenly appeared in my life. And you blew my mind.

“I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of the fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels, something good in everything I see
I believe in angels, when I know the time is right for me
I’ll cross the stream, I have a dream..”

When will life finally settle down? It’s tiring and I’m being driven to the edge. Shame and jealousy you invade my life too much. It’s way too powerful for my mind to handle.

How i wish all these weren’t true.

All these feelings, all these emotions, all these thoughts..

*

I’ve gotten back my H2 Maths midyear exam script. Although i’ve already expected myself to do really badly, i still feel disappointed. It’s really a total let down. But it’s alright, as the day went on, i was back to the normal me again. Perhaps i’m really used to failing major examinations in my secondary school. Actually when i looked through my script again, i think i deserve the marks i got. It’s like, my knowledge for Maths is proportionate to my marks i got. Hmm, maybe i should be contented? But still, screwed up Maths, totally. Not to forget, i’m an Arts stream student, maybe that’s a perfect excuse to fail Maths (badly). Haha!

I think for the next 3 months, what i need isn’t hardcore mugging; I need to find the right form of motivation to keep me going..

PS: Would you cry, if you saw me crying?

Anybody wants to clean up the mess for me?

It’s really a disaster. I can’t believe i still have the cheek to showcase all these on my blog. Haha!

I’ll drag on as long as possible, until one day when my mum starts to nag. Hehe!

School’s resuming in around.. 5hours time?

PS/ Exactly one year ago, 6 July 2009, something very special and memorable happened. Check out my blog archives to find out.

☆CHIACHEKWEI IS AN ANGEL.         says:
*hmm.
*how to drop some hints
* teach me lehh. i need to learn some clever hints. HAHAHA.
♥THE GUY WHO REFUSES TO BE NAMED.says:
*go with the flow of the river
*u dun hav to totally ask her to noe whether she likes u or not
*u can start off with a drink first
*make sure shes not saliva phobic
*okay. this is noob. cancel
☆CHIACHEKWEI IS AN ANGEL.         says:
*HAHAHAHA. OMG DAMN FUNNY.
♥THE GUY WHO REFUSES TO BE NAMED. says:
*anyway that one is to see whether she minds sharing a straw when there are more straws around
*this is not appearing on ur blog
☆CHIACHEKWEI IS AN ANGEL.         says:
*O H M Y G O D HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT I WANNA SHARE THIS BRILLIANT PIECE OF CONVERSATION ON MY BLOG.
*WE ARE BROTHERS INDEED.
♥THE GUY WHO REFUSES TO BE NAMED. says:
*no freak. i want NO ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS DAMMIT
*im ashamed of what i just shared
*im sure i tested water a million times but results come back negative
☆CHIACHEKWEI IS AN ANGEL.         says:
*OH MEANS YOU FAIL? OKAY DONT TEACH ME
*ehh actually you can. negative examples. so i WONT do it. HAHAHA.
♥THE GUY WHO REFUSES TO BE NAMED. says:
*as in my testing water succeed. but the results i get is shes not interested
*aiya very easy one. from ur chats u noe already
*like. is she ready to share things with u
*open up to u without u promptin
*dont mind going out with u one on one
*tell u her plans and is concerend with ur plans for the weekend or wadever
*then before tests or major things in ur jc life, will send u a good luck msg
*i mean, u just ask urself. wad would u do for a girl u like
*then just change the title around la or think the other way
*what would u not do for a girl u DO NOT LIKE. then after u come out with the list
*u can also conclude that these are the things that a girl wouldnt do for a guy whom she do not like
*or at least. care for. make sense right? it may not be 100% accurate but yeah
☆CHIACHEKWEI IS AN ANGEL.         says:
*HEY DUDE, WE BOTH GRADUATED FROM THE SAME SCHOOL. WHY ARE YOU SO CASSANOVA?
THE GUY WHO REFUSES TO BE NAMED. says:
*get lost. i think im falling into ur put-on-to-blog trap
☆CHIACHEKWEI IS AN ANGEL.         says:
*i think. i will try to drop hints. HAHAHAHA, just kidding.
*but if i fail, i’ll snatch your girl. you damn it.
♥THE GUY WHO REFUSES TO BE NAMED. says:
*why my girl? u all dont think shes pretty anyway
☆CHIACHEKWEI IS AN ANGEL.         says:
*because you caused me to fail. HAHAHA.
*actually i think she looks good. really. cute. but, not my type.
♥THE GUY WHO REFUSES TO BE NAMED. says:
*if u want me to judge her with my judgement of girls overall, she cmi
*but if u ask my heart, thats a diff story
☆CHIACHEKWEI IS AN ANGEL.         says:
*true. damn true.
♥THE GUY WHO REFUSES TO BE NAMED. says:
*i wanted to write something corny
*but fearing its on ur blog, i stopped
*but her eyes, omg. i love girls with nice eyes
☆CHIACHEKWEI IS AN ANGEL.         says:
*i love girls with bye eyes. but goddamn, if you want me to judge mine, she also cmi
*LOLOLOLOL. but if you ask my heart, its different story.
♥THE GUY WHO REFUSES TO BE NAMED. says:
*ROFL. im really serious
☆CHIACHEKWEI IS AN ANGEL.         says:
i think we both like ugly girls. with good characters.
*Ehh actually, mine quite hot lehh. yours ahh? abit..
*okay lahh. yours is cute. okay?
♥THE GUY WHO REFUSES TO BE NAMED. says:
*LOL its okay. its not a beauty pageant contest
☆CHIACHEKWEI IS AN ANGEL.         says:
*beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

CAN ANY KIND SOUL OUT THERE, SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD AND END MY AGONY. PRETTY PLEASE.

This is eating up my sanity, bit by bit. I swear i’ll go lunatic over it soon.

It’s way too powerful for my mind to handle.
I hope everything ends tonight.

I’ve been wanting to make this blog post, ever since the end of my mid-years exams. Hmm, worst exams ever sat for? Not really. My Olevel was one major crap. Last year’s Prelim 2 was the crappiest. L1R5 was rocket-high. Anyway one of my good brothers posted this on his facebook status. There’s no other way for me to agree to-the-max with him, other than ‘like’ his status. “I was shocked to see people emo after the chem paper. Luckily cat high trained me in failing killer papers with bigbig grins on my face. ” Hell true!

Anyway, this midyears examination was a great wake-up call for me. 15% of Promos, perhaps too costly, but it’s definitely worthwhile. Come to think of it, my midyears revisions were pathetic. Maybe pathetic isn’t intensified enough to express how screwed up they were. Subjects like Maths, goddamn. I can never forgive myself. I started revision the night before from 1am till 4plus. I managed to cover only 2 chapters. And the previous time i studied for Maths was one and a half weeks ago. And, i studied Maths as though it’s an Art subject. Memorised some formulas and answers, whatever. The next morning, i woke up at around 10am. Maths exam was 2pm. Awesome right? 4 good hours to wrap up my revisions for Maths. Goddamn. I was freaking out. I wonder why, but Maths was the only exam paper that i lost my cool, perhaps i really didn’t wanna let my Maths teacher down. Yeah i freaked out. I forgot to breathe. I was panicking. Seriously, I was swearing, like ‘FML!’ and i really hope my neighbours didn’t hear what i shouted. I kept swearing. Then i told myself, i need to stay calm. And i started telling myself, ‘I’m a genius, i’m a genius, i’m a genius..’ I kept chanting, really. Thinking back, it helped a little. -.-

Midyears exams, another great flaw within my mind is the thought of it being just 15%. It makes me don’t feel like studying for it, at all. Anyway! I think my parents’ gonna kill me. Not because i didn’t do well for it, but because i told them that i’d do well. Hell yeah -.-

15% Promos = 15% effort? Did i even put in 15% effort? I think i did, more or less. The night before my Geography and Econs paper, i stayed throughout. This was the first time that i didn’t sleep the entire night, just to prepare for exams. Not a good idea, totally. I felt like vomiting when i was doing the Geography paper, perhaps due to the imbalance of acidity level in my stomach. Screwed up exams, that sums up everything. Nonetheless, i admire my perseverance to mug the whole night.

Oh yeah. Two nights before my first exam paper, i was totally not in the mood to study. I sat in front of the computer, just kept refreshing my facebook newsfeed for like 30mins? And checked twitter, read through my own blog and blah blah. I don’t know what struck me, but i felt like watching Armageddon out of a sudden. I didn’t hesitate much. I went to my harddisk, and i clicked on it. Woo~ Spent 3hours watching, till around 6am in the morning. I personally feel that it’s the best film ever created. Great cast, great soundtrack and most importantly, great storyline. Oh basically, it’s about a national disaster that’s gonna happen (Meteor strike) and NASA sent a team of genius up to blow up this Meteor rock. Awesome movie. Very touching. Love the theme song too, by Aerosmith. Hmm i estimated and i think i definitely watched it more than 5 times. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armageddon_%281998_film%29

*

Hmm i feel that somethings are not worth our time, to even think about it, because the more we think of it, the more complicated it becomes. But well, i now feel that perhaps the deeper we think into it, we may actually figure something out of it. I thought of it for the entire night few days back, and i figured my way out. Not really entire night, but quite a while though. Self enlightenment is the best form of enlightenment. I’m glad i manage to straighten my thoughts. After all, it’s just a minor thing life. Give up? There’s nothing to give up, since i didn’t hook on to it in the first place. It’s more like forgetting and move on? Yeah perhaps. After all, there are more things out there that are worth my time and brain juice, and sleep of course. It’s better to concentrate on our studies now, right Kenneth? I’m really happy that there are people out there, who experience the same problem as me, and are willing to listen to my woes. I call them ‘brothers’. Thanks a lot. When it comes to others, i can give them many advices as though i’m some saint or cassanova. But when it comes to me, i feel helpless. Thank goodness, i manage to suppress it. Once again, i reintroduce myself to the greener pastures, and i feel the breeze. The feeling can’t get any better.

It’s nearing 3am now. And i’m still not feeling sleepy. Ahh maybe i shall watch Armageddon on my TV screen this time round instead, haha! Goodnight people!

Food for thought: What’s the point of announcing proudly to the whole wide world that you’re in a goddamn relationship on facebook? I thought of it for quite some time, and i can’t figure it out. Well, i find it utmost unnecessary. And to a certain extent, i feel that it’s utmost disgusting. Yeah whatever, you may think that i’m jealous of those dudes who got hooked up. -.- Hmm perhaps i should ask my brother, my biological one i mean.

Opps, I should be sleeping now! Time check: 3.50am.

Hmm my H2 geography mid-year exam is later at 8am. I have wrapped up my revision for it. I don’t know, but i’m just hoping that lady luck will be on my side. Honestly speaking, if i didn’t do well for this mid-year examinations, i roughly know the reasons. Yeah i know the reasons. I started my revisions far to late. Why? Over confidence. No one to blame, just myself. I didn’t expect rocks and sands and mountains to be so complicated.

Hmm study method? Nothing in specific. Just simply.. Study smart + Exam smart = Desirable grades. Oh yeah, i strongly feel that last minute study is effective, especially for Arts student like me. (who takes pure Humans subjects -.-) But of course, study smart covers a certain extent of spotting questions. Risky ehh?

I must say that four years in Catholic High School had taught me well. Not in terms of academics or whatsoever, but the school just taught me how to prepare mentally for examinations. And that’s the reason why I’m not freaking out (i think), despite having so little time left for revisions.

But anyway, i’m bright awake now. Caffeine overdose, like what this post title says. Four cans of NesCafe Original. Fortunately, the label says ‘Low Fat’. I hope it’s not a commercial strategy.

Ahh man, let’s be frank here. I’ve mixed feelings right now. A little edgy, a little excited, a little worried, a little happy. Yeah, it’s logical for me to be nervous. After all my revisions aren’t fully hardcore. A little worried, i just don’t wanna disappoint my parents, especially my mum, since i assured her that i’ll do well this time. Now i hope she didn’t take it too seriously. Hahaha.

Thinking back, i wonder what i’ve done throughout this June holiday. Nothing much constructive, other than a couple of thoughts which filled my mind. Hmm thank god, i managed to realise that somethings don’t worth my time and effort, especially during this period. Somethings might just dampen my spirits. So, somethings are best to be put aside, and let natural takes its course. Oh anyway, i’ve absolutely no regrets about spending my time on football matches. Like i said, it’s not just about football. It’s about watching it with my family. And not to forget, the great actions on the pitch.

Caffeine overdose. I really hope the effects of caffeine can last throughout the day, if not i’m really dead. Did i mention that i still have H2 Economics paper at 2pm? Oh freak. And did i mention that my exams last for just 3 days? Hahaha!

Oh yeah. I shall be back for some last minute revisions for Econs.

Good luck and Godspeed everybody!

Time check 4:41am. Just finished watching my game. I feel like crying, for i donated another $20 to my brother. Never felt this close to winning my money before. Almost whacked $125 from him. Oh well, maybe i should resign to fate. Gambling is 十赌十输 for me. Haha! Now i owe Derek, my biological brother, around $50, plus the money i borrowed from him during the holidays, i think my debt sums up to $100. Ahh!

Oh yea, today is 23june, which means not more than 5 days till midyear. I guess i’ve no choice, but to adopt a new ‘strategy’ for my revisions. Hardcore mugging is impossible now, since time isn’t on my side. Now i’ll just cover those that i understand, and make sure i totally understand them. For those which i know nuts about them, i’ll leave them and heck it. There isn’t much time for me to learn. I’ll just master whatever i know. My target for midyear? As long as my mum’s happy when she sees my results, my target is achieved. Hmm i’m pinning high hopes on history and geography. Ahh, please!

I wanted to change my blogskin, but i can’t find any better ones. I guess i’ll stick to this. Pretty cool huh? Can customize the colors too. Check out blue and green, lovely!

Haha i was browsing through my old blogposts during half-time of the game just now. And i kept swearing about my Science subjects, especially Physics during sec3. I think my sec3 Science wasn’t that bad. I think i still managed to pass them. But well, when it came to sec4, i couldn’t even smell a pass. Haha, Science is never my cup of tea, never. Oh yeah, and i came across this interesting yet stupid blogpost which i made when i was in sec4. Here it goes..

“14/2. valentines day. just came back with my valentine.

morning meet her at her house. i have already thought of where to go. brought her over to my house. i got all the ingredients ready for baking. both of us baked a lovely cake. strawberry one. it obviously turned out awful, but thats not the point. after that we left the house.

went to catch movie. nice movie, coz im watching with her. after that we went for lunch. gave her the valentine present which i prepared for very long. she said she love both the present and me. i was so touched. she too, prepared a present for me. obviously, i wont say: i love u and the present too. its cliche. so i said: i love u more than the present. she was began to emo, coz finally she found someone who love her.

night time liao. time flies when u are happy right? night time, i sent her home, obviously right? i must act gentleman right. before we kiss goodbye, she told me she had a great valentine’s day…

how i wish the aboves are true. damn it.“

Hahaha, can’t stop laughing at myself for making such post. But hey, i remember that some of my friends did feel cheated after reading the last line there. Hahaha! I can’t believe how stupid i was at that time. Hmm thinking back, secondary school life for me was indeed stupid, lame but fun. I miss those days, doing stupid things, saying lame stuffs and had fun. Guys’ school students, we’re just crazy!

5:13am now. I’m not really sleepy, but i guess i need to turn in soon, before my parents wake up for work!

Target #1:Wake up at 10am tomorrow, or rather later in the morning. Seems impossible.

Target #2: Conclude my physical geography revision too. Seems more impossible.

Haha, i need to fulfill target #1 in order to make target #2 possible. Man, thanks to procrastination for the past few weeks!

PS/ 努力不一定会成功，但不努力一定不会成功。