“sometimes, it’s no longer about self-confidence. neither it’s about how much faith you have in yourself. it is about self-awareness and practicality. when you know you aren’t up to mark, it’s best that you choose another path that suits you most.”
A lot of things have been happening around me. I hate it to admit, but i feel that the above statements are sensible. In the past, i always felt that constantly believing in ourselves is the most important thing. i felt that no matter how ignorant or incapable one can be, as long as his faith for himself is sky high, he will achieve what he wants. Many things have happened, and finally i realise the cruelty of reality. i hate it, i really hate it.
Sometimes, you may have confidence in yourself. You know you can do it. But ask yourself again, can you really do it? Even if your mental fortitude is strong, but deep inside you, you are somewhat aware that you are actually not be capable to fulfill the task. You actually have abit of insecure within yourself that you may fail, however you are willing to try to fulfill the task. A chance to try? That’s a privilege which is not granted easily. It’s either you can do it, or you cannot. There’s no such thing as ‘try’. In this case, from what i’ve concluded, it is best to put away all the burning self-confidence and be more self-awared of yourself. Be practical. Be realistic. This is what i mean by practicality. This is life, i’m sad to say. This world is practical and realistic. There’s little opportunities for you to make mistakes. Whenever you feel that bit of uncertainty within you, it’s best to face it bravely and give up. This is what i mean by, self-awareness > self-confidence.
Having said that (sounds familiar, oh well..), i totally agree that life is too short for us to make mistakes and learn from them. Sometimes, we may not even be given the chance to try things out and eventually make mistakes. (Chances are always reserved for the best of the bests.) The most we can do is to learn from the mistakes that other people made. Sorry if i’ve phrased it so bluntly, but this is what i feel. I hate it, i really hate it.
Self awareness > Self confidence. This applies to every field in our lives. When you know that you aren’t suitable, just simply drop that idea and move on with life. Now, there’s no room for people to hold on dearly to their beliefs and persevere through. These people will only be labeled as people living in self-denial. Sometimes, giving up is the best and only option. I hate it, i really hate it.
Sadly, but this is life. I can only blame myself, to realise this fact only at this stage of my life. Can’t believe that people address us as ‘young adults’ when i can’t even handle such.. cruelty of reality. I admit, i’m ignorant.
There’s nothing much i can do. I can only work hard, and try to improve myself and be a stronger person. If i failed to do so, i’ll take it as a learning point and continue to move on with life. I hate it, i really hate it. However, i’m somewhat convinced to accept these facts of life through the things i’ve been through. Ahh shucks.
Actually i should feel blessed, because i got to experience more things. i believe that through experiencing, i will be able to learn and grow. Perhaps all these are a blessing in disguised. But are they too much for me to handle? I think so.
Things have just began. I wont use the word ‘learn’ or ‘grow’, that will be an overstatement. I’d say, i’ve certainly ‘experienced’ a lot. Thank you. I’m sure there will be more coming up. I’m not sure if i can withstand all these, but i will face them with an open mind.
Anyway, pardon me for the.. lack of ability to express myself freely due to my bad English language. Ahh, speaking of that, GP mid-year exam in 2 days! Kill me please! And and and, 2 make-up tests await me tomorrow!
On a lighter note, i’m going to Japan on Friday night! Oh my god please! Actually i’m not as excited as i thought i would be. Hmm i don’t know why. But, well.. haha. I’m still looking forward to it!
PS/ Sorry for this emotional blogpost. anyway i doubt anybody will read, seriously. It’s for my eyes to see. Anyway i feel much better after ranting all over on my blog. Well, it’s my blog afterall. It’s my only solace. I’m fine, i’m still the same old chek, just that i’ll be a stronger one! =D
PSS/ 580th post! 20 more to the big 600th post! go go go!
