point form post. not really in the mood, a bad way to start the first week of 2010 seriously. suck big time. but still im gonna blog, before i lose my momentum and this blog will be stagnant.

• 7th jan went THE CAGE. soccer, tiring. stamina obviously not up to mark. specs kept falling. played, scored, laughed. rongxuan is actually a nice guy, he treated me pasta mania. i needa hold my tongue more often now, i think. At night, told mum and dad about contact lens. they werent supportive. i was very pissed off and my emotions surfaced. how childish i was. thinking back, i felt so so so guilty.
• 8th jan went back to CHS. Uniform Group Talk. nah, i went back to watch it. Land’s speech was good of course. hope the sec1s will make the right choice? they were so noisy. At night, mum told me to take a look at my wallet. i thought she wanna tell me that my wallet was so old and ragged. I walked off and said ‘Ya i know my wallet is very old’ in chinese. She told me to look closer inside. I saw a piece of $50 note inside. She continued ‘Dad saw that ur wallet was empty, so he put it in’. I tried very very hard and i hold back my tears. I felt more guilty for fuming at them the previous night, just over a pair of contact lens.. this feeling sucks.

I know my parents love me very much. but i’m so worried that i can’t do them proud next monday. and the thought of disappointing them is really painful for me. I don’t mind going to some other college, because my grades deserve it. but i feel that my parents would want their son to get into top JCs, though they didnt put in to words. they’ve done so much for me, yet i may not reciprocate. I dare not imagine what’s gonna on monday.

Shocking to see such post in my blog? I’m still a human afterall. I smile, i joke, i tear just like anyone.

してください私と一緒に失望してはいけない please don’t be disappointed with me..