♥ When darkness turns to light it ends tonight.

I’ve climbed through the Cat High gates for many times.

But last night, the feeling was different.

I think I’ve changed. For the better, or for the worse. I know the answer, but i dare not face it.

Time’s running out. Make or break.

Breathe in, breathe out..

‎PS: “My greatest fear in life is that one day we will walk past each other like strangers.”

My twitter says: ‘Teachers day, slack, soccer, slack, sleep, soccer, laugh, dinner, public nuisance at J8, smash cake at YC’s face, taupok YC. What a day! ’

That’s just the brief outline of what happened yesterday, 31st Aug. Perhaps one of the greatest day in my life.

Teachers day celebration in school, i mean in NYJC, was a success. Different people sets different standards, and mine is unique. I saw team work, i saw punctuality and i saw efforts put in. I think it doesn’t really matter if there were hiccups during the performance. We can’t be so myopic and superficial right? The success of an event is not determined by just the main performance itself. The backstage, the rehearsals, the preparations, the coordinations, everything else matters too. Well, that’s how i feel. Good job team! Oh, i had a feel of using the walkie talkie and it’s just like a war zone. Hahaha.

First part of my day. Went back to my awesome Catholic High School after the debriefs and packing up. Reached there around 1pm. Didn’t look for any teachers at all, they all left i think, cause’ we went back late. But it’s alright, since my form-teacher is no longer there. First up, Fighting Fish Football Club kicked some soccer balls. I think the weather was like 40 degCel. That’s why i look like a cooked lobster now. Argh! But it’s freaking fun, i think i’ve perspired 2 litres of sweat. Hahaha. It’s been quite long since i last worked out, stamina failing! Then was so slacking and we had soccer round 2 in the Indoor Sports Hall. Much more awesome. Perspired another 2 litres. Super epic game of soccer, i think the match would definitely have lasted longer, if Alan didn’t kick the ball up to the roof area. *Alan, this middle finger is for you. Oh yeah, after that i went to shower in the female staff toilet.

Second part of my day. We, FFFC invaded Junction 8 and i swear we were public nuisance, once again. Before that, i wanna say that i’ve achieved two feats yesterday. One, i survived without food at all from 4am (the time which i woke up) till 730pm. But in between i drank lots of water, maybe that’s why i didn’t feel hungry. Haha. Two, i ate my foot-long subway sandwich in less than 3minutes. I’m just simply awesome. Anyway after dinner we decided to celebrate Yucheng’s birthday. Couldn’t really think of what special ways to celebrate for him. Oh, in FFFC dictionary, the word ‘special’ means guai lan. Then i’ve no idea which brother came up with this ingenious plan to ask him to sit on those.. kids machine (those that you put in $1 and the car/barney/train/whatever will start swaying and there will be music). HAHAHA, i think the whole J8 was looking at us, or maybe looking at Yucheng only. And we did it twice.

Next, to summarise, we simply taupok and cake smashed Yucheng.

Yucheng, you must know that we all love you so much. I can’t wait for my birthday to come. But i think they will torture me and kill me, like literally. HAHAHA.

We’re crazy, we’re sick, we’re FFFC.

Mum says i’m just more kind-hearted than others. But i think otherwise. I think it’s the background that we come from. I just feel somethings can’t be changed, and i’ll just have to live with it. Last time i thought perhaps this is my darkest weakness. I’m sure it is now. Some words may be just a passing remark, but it means something else to me. I can only blame myself for taking it wrongly? Ahh, my mind’s kindda messy now. What i’m typing doesn’t make much sense. But goddamn, i just wanna vent this somewhere. Once again, i think i’ve failed in this aspect. I lost the mind game with myself. I’ve never won. This is my darkest weakness. I dare not face it. But time and time, this comes back and haunt me. Violent winds chop the waters and my ship threatens to capsize. It’s tiring and I’m being driven to the edge. Shame and jealousy, you invade my life too much. My blog is my only solace.

Sometimes i just don’t wanna let my emotions surface. I mean, it’s pointless. What’s the point of it? I may end up making others to be unhappy. Actually i”m not that noble, but that’s just one reason. Sometimes i just feel like having some personal time for myself. If not, i feel like becoming invisible from the crowd.

Although i’m chekwei, there can still be times when i’m feeling down. Because i’m a human too.

Maybe i can reflect upon others’ mistakes, and learn from it. Don’t try to make sense out of this blog post. I myself don’t understand what i’m typing. Now, i’m not breathing, my mind isn’t thinking. It’s just a wall of spammed words, or maybe frustrations.

PS: Dear somebody, sorry i had lied to you that i was fine. I won’t share my troubles with you. Because i promised to always transfer 99% of happiness to you. I hope you can always be happy. Not even a single moment of sadness.

*

I used to think i was strong. But I was wrong.

YAY! Tonight is another happy night! ♥

La la la~!

I love Monday nights.

不想睡。

SEVEN THINGS YOU WILL FIND IN YOUR ROOM:
1. One mega big Ai Otsuka monthly calendar.
2. My school bag.
3. My study table.
4. Computer.
5. One full set of Death Note comic books.
6. 2 dumb bells, 5kg each.
7. Waste paper basket

SEVEN RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS:
1. Do You Like Anyone? Anybody and everybody who deserves my love!
2. Does Someone Like You? Hmm?
3. Last Kiss? Nope!
4. Been Lead On: Huh?
5. Been Cheated On? Nope!
6. Want A Relationship? Goes with the flow.
7. Wanna Get Married? Not yet!

SEVEN THINGS YOU CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT:
1. My cute beloved ice-cream phone!
2. My bed!
3. My ipod, that’s definitely.
4. Money!
5. Kinships friendships.
6. Computer!
7. Anything and everything nice!

SEVEN THINGS ON YOUR MIND:
1. Tomorrow’s YOG Handball match with classmates!
2. Do well for Promos!
3. What to eat for breakfast tomorrow, or later!
4. A long long vacation with my family!
5. That nice sneakers lying in Converse shop now!
6. Will this quiz be interesting?
7. FFFC dinner outing tomorrow night!

SEVEN OTHER THINGS – DO YOU
1. Believe In God? Nope.
2. Had A Dream Come True? Yeah!
3. Read The Newspaper? Quite! But hardly nowadays. No time!
4. Get Enough Sleep Everyday? What a joke.
5. Have A Best Friend? Many!
7. Wish On Stars? Nope, but 1111 yes!

SEVEN HAVE YOU EVER
1. Won lottery? Parents just won quite a bit last month, but they refused to give me any!
2. Kissed Someone Of The Same Sex? Haha -.- i think so!
3. Hooked Up With Someone Who Had A BF/GF? Nope!
4. Been To A Bonfire: Bonfire?
5. Ran Away From Home? My house is a nice place! Can’t bear to leave!
6. Played Strip Poker? Nope! -.-
7. Pulled An All Nighter? What?

SEVEN THINGS IN THE LAST 24 HOURS HAVE YOU:
1. Cried? Nope! Happy day!
2. Had Fun? Yeah, texting people!
3. Been Kissed? No.
4. Felt Stupid? No!
5. Talked To An Ex? No no no!
6. Missed Someone?
7. Listened To Music? Listening! Hey, Soul sister – Train!

RED : ANGER
1. Are You Currently Mad At Someone? Nope! I’m friendly!
2. Which Of Your family Members Has The Worst temper? Actually I’ve really no idea you know!
3. Have You Ever Thrown Something At Anyone? Yes! For fun!
4. Does Your Face Turn Red When You’re Angry? Seldom gets angry, unless you really cross the line.
5. When You’re Mad Do You Prefer To Stare angrily or yell? I’ll eat him alive!

ORANGE : EXCITEMENT
1. Has Anyone Ever Thrown A Surprise Party For You? Sort of?
2. Are You Easily Excited? Yes!
3. What Event Is Coming Up That You Are Looking Forward To? Tomorrow’s FFFC dinner outing!
4. If You Won A Million Dollars, What Will Be Your First Thought? Buy a big big house for my mummy and daddy!
5. What Would Make You The Happiest Right Now? I’m satisfied with status quo!

YELLOW : SELF DISCOVERY
1. Full Name: CHIA CHEK WEI. 谢志伟。
2. Birthday: 4 January 1993
3. What’s Your Main Goal In Life? Make my parents the two happiest persons on earth.
4. Do You Want To Have Children? Yes! One princess and one prince will be good!
5. How Do You Want To Die? Sacrifice my life for my beloved ones.

BLUE : SADNESS
1. When Is The Last Time You Cried? Forgot.
2. What Is The Saddest Thing That Happened? Close ones who left me.
3. Do You Usually Cry/Get Depressed When Something Doesn’t Happen Your Way? Yeah.
4. Has Anyone Made You Cry In The Last 24 Hours? Nope.
5. When You Are Sad, What Do You Do? It’s part of life.

PINK : LOVE
1. Do You Have A Crush On One Of Your Friends?
2. Do You Believe In Love At First Sight? I’d say first impression is important, yupp.
3. When You See Your Crush, Do You Act Differently Around Him/Her? I’ll always want to put my best foot forward, but not act differently. I love to be myself!
4. Do You Have A Girlfriend/Boyfriend? I’m a hot bachelor!
5. Do You Believe Everyone Has A Soulmate? Yes, definitely.

Oh man, it’s almost 5am now! Oh my gosh! Gonna sleep now and wake up in about 4 hours time! Good night earth! Hope you enjoyed my quiz!

Right now, my mind is telling me logically to sleep as soon as possible because tomorrow’s gonna be a long day ahead. But the thought of me lying on the bed makes me feel guilty. Oh my god man. Anyway right now i’m battling hard to keep my eyes open. I’m kind of tired. Physically? Or mentally. I’ve no idea. Please, i hope i’m not mentally drained.

Anyway sometimes there’s a really a drive for me to keep working hard. But it never lasts.

I’m beginning catch up on my school work, but slowly. I hope it’s not too late. 50 odd days left i heard. Or is it 40 odds? Doesn’t really matter. Just one aim in my mind: To do as well as possible for all subjects! I think i need to constantly remind myself about the aim i’ve set, and to work diligently towards it. Never give in to laziness!

Point form blogging:

• History test tomorrow! Must do well because i like history!
• Mum stops giving me money again! Argh!
• I need to buy a new Nalgene water bottle! (Mum’s sponsoring this, so this is possible)
• I want to change my handphone to a BlackBerry! (Not so possible -.-)
• 40+ days to Promo Exams. Ahhh!
• I just yawned.
• I hit my 600th posts few days back! Super happy!
• www.keirea.com‘s 2nd anniversary coming soon! 1st September!
• My ipod touch spoilt! The center button sank ! so now it’s goddamn hard to press!
• I swore in front of Connect and Contact Point, never in my life to miss a single 730am lesson! I promised!

Okay, i shall do my Econs essay-plans and catch as much sleep as possible! Jiayou chekk!

PS: Thanks for always making me happy, dear small eyed freak.

YAY! Tonight is a happy night! ♥

La la la~!

601st post dedicated specially to 苏婉淇! HAHAHA!

Singapore Youth Olympic Games!

Excellence, Friendship, Respect.

14 Aug, I feel proud of Singapore.

13 August. I’m at home now, although i should be in school. Am i really that sick? Or is it that i just wanna escape from the monstrous vector lecture test. Perhaps it’s really time for me to reflect upon certain stuffs, since i’ve quite a bit of time now.

Time is running out. Promotional exams are coming. I’ve little confidence for myself. Study hard? Not at all. I need to set my priorities right. No more distractions, i need to focus. I know what i want. That’s good. I’m glad i can feel the pressure now. It’s been quite long, and i’ve still yet to find my motivation. But it’s alright, at least i found the pressure. Pressure may be a form of motivation, at least for me.

Mid-year exams were disastrous. Wake up call? Yeah, but it never last. Times and times i gave in to laziness. I hate myself. Right now, i’ve set my priorities right. All those distractions are out of my path. A path to my goals. A path to what i truly want. A path that will make Mum and Dad feel proud of me.

13 August. I know myself better.

PS: My special friend, yes you. <3

*

They strangle me
I can’t explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don’t want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My mind’s unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can’t explain what you can’t explain.
You’re finding things that you didn’t know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My mind’s unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won’t make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I’m on my own side
It’s better than being on your side
It’s my fault when you’re blind
It’s better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you’re the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won’t make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won’t make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Tonight
Insight
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight.

Chekwei’s favourite song. Beautiful lyrics, nice music video, everything’s good.